To paraphrase George Carlin - I shower off, scrub my crotch, drink a Mr. Pibb, and then go home.
I mean, it's almost as if narrating the slight movement of my thumbs in a particular pattern to a particular end was less exciting than the day - to - day of a boring married couple who both work full time and their two dogs.
Maybe I should narrate more American Idol, which is inherently the most interesting thing in the world.
Some chapter 1 closing paragraphs -
The wife and I are planning back-to-back vacations over the next few weeks, so Chaos must go down soon. As fate would have it, in order to take time off from work, she must work throughout a weekend.
It will be... a weekend without pants.
I remain firmly convinced that if employers were to allow just a few hours of "play time" before work begins, that employees would get up early every time. So it was that I woke up early Saturday morning on a quest to get through the earth cave. About halfway into the earth cave, I start to think that the game wants to hurt me.
Dear Square -
How the fuck difficult would it have been to write code in which you cannot be attacked one step after you were just attacked? I am going to find you (or your kids, at this point) and kick them in the shins every time they decide to take a step. Then kick them again. The first time, it's an understandable necessity, the second makes me want to find you and hurt you terribly. Stop it - you're not fucking finished programming yet.
Thanks,
Jason
Moving on to getting a canoe so that I can get to the volcano. Because when you want to go to a volcano, you take a fucking canoe.
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