4 short paragraphs to summarize FF IV

FF IV has perhaps been played alongside some of my fondest memories. I remember getting two ribbons and thinking "what the fuck is a ribbon" while first becoming comfortable in my family's game room. I remember Zeromus' being relatively easy compared to MINDs. That one is a smell memory, as I first beat the game one morning before I had bathed. I probably hadn't bathed for a few days. It was (and still is) a pretty palpable smell. The moment in which Cecil becomes a Paladin was strangely one of the more thoughtful moments of my youth. It really should have prevented the goth years of my late teens and early twenties, but I still dyed my hair black, painted my fingernails and had about five piercings . I'd call that a failure on the "light conquers dark" motif influencing youth.

Tam and I had decided to move beyond the "we're trying to have a baby" stage and we went straight into the "naming things and making more space" stage. There's a certain depression that comes from not being able to have children. So many people can, and what is wrong with you? Like Golbez and FuSoYa attempting Meteo and failing - if that doesn't work, what will? Zemus is sitting there being all blue and cool - taking his time taking over the world. Unrelated - Cecil and Rosa could just adopt Palom and Porom - but wouldn't that make any eventual child resented by the little wizards? In The Good Son, that kid didn't know Black magic - Palom could fuck up an unwanted brother. Okay, the analogy falls apart quickly and doesn't make any sense. It's like the Republican party platform or me after being dumped by a girl - even an ugly one.


Seriously - this asshole has reproduced.

I read a website that said that "spoony bard" was a mistranslation or bad writing of some kind. As a huge fan of Kurt Vonnegut and Anthony Burgess - making words up works depending on the context and construction of the word. Obviously, the developers meant something like "loony bard", but spoony gives a strange but recognizable context to a derogatory word as well as giving an otherworldly sense to the language. Bards are "spoony" and I don't care what anyone thinks.

I still don't understand the Japanese understanding of Excalibur. The cultural anthropology version of why this is in the game is either a long and interesting story or a short but stupid explanation. As much love as I have in my heart for FF IV, there is still a sense of laziness. "Ging - Ryu"'s stronger golden version is a "King - Ryu", enemies are the same, only in a different color. With the weaponry, it was as if they thought the strongest sword in the game should have a sidequest, but they wanted one that was slightly stronger. In an alternate universe, there is a war between Norway and Britian. The Ragnarok Sword being stronger than the Excalibur involved Japan and caused a World War (note the use of capital letters, and yes, yes this is possible).