A Few Questions for Final Fantasy VIII

In one of my favorite episodes of The Simpsons, Homer is revealed to have written letters to "Die Hard". The movie. Not John McClane, not Bruce Willis, not even Demi Moore (who would write to Demi Moore? She's been boring as fuck since she shaved her head all those years ago - since that, nothing). He wrote to Die Hard the movie. In that spirit, I have a few questions for Final Fantasy VIII. Not the developers, not the characters, not the writers, the game itself.

1.) What else could be simultaneously SO stupid and yet so awesome as a gunblade?

2.) When they thought to put a sword on a gun, what were the drugs used? Quick follow - up - how long had it been since the inventor had sex?

3.) We assume the inventor is a queerhomo (new words!).

4.) Final Fantasy VIII, since when are little girls with overalls and giant nunchucks mercenaries outside of my dirty, ILLEGAL dreams?

5.) Why do you want to make my dreams illegal!?

6.) In a world where teenagers can SUCK MAGIC FROM MONSTERS AT A DISTANCE, what constitutes a "Sorceress"? Not taking Jesus Christ as her personal savior? That's pretty fucked up. Stop trying to be The Crucible, Final Fantasy, you suck at it.

7.) Would ANYONE have sex with Quistis? Explain why - show your work!

Updating, as I will have more questions during Disk 2...

Such as, why so many disks? What are you - retarded?